Friends, I’m working here on about, oh…9 hours of sleep in the last 48.  There is one reason for this, a new toy that’s mine to play with, soon to play with permenantly!  Yes friends, I’ve become addicted to the electronic form of crack.  Actually, no, crack is so dirty and undistinguished, and referencing its electronic form as an addiction would pretty much mean I was addicted to those trashy celebrity gossip blogs.

Wow.  I can’t believe I just joked about drug addiction.  That’s pretty sad.  Anywho, moving on:  I have become addicted to tinkering on a Mac.  Yes.  I’ve joined the techno-geeks and become a total Mac groupie.  Thank you Jay and Brooke Sellers for officially destroying any chance of me dating in the near future.  Ha, dating you say?  Pshaw!  I’d rather be creating cool stuff on the

with my:

.

Yes.  That is Garage Band.  Yes it is primitive and clunky.

And yes, I’m an utter pimp on it.

Proof to come soon.

Ladies and gentlemen,

It’s 3:15 AM on Easter Sunday (March 23, 200 and I’m sitting (somewhat inonspicuously) in my car in the Burger King parking lot, taking advantage of their wifi hotspot.

Tommorrow (or rather this morning), I am leading worship for almost two thousand people at the Saint Simons Island community sunrise service.  That thought (in the words of Amy Winehouse) makes “my guts churn.”  Granted I’m not crying for anyone on the kitchen floor (another Amy Winehouse reference- see the song “You Know I’m No Good”, or on second thought…don’t), but I am really nervous.  Consequently, I woke up early.  Really early.

I woke up at about a quarter till three and can’t go back to sleep.  I’m totally awake and utterly miserable about it.  This is definitely out of character for me.  Usually it’s oversleeping that’s my problem. 

 Well, I’ve checked my e-mail and my myspace.  I’ve tinkered around on youtube and even added some new apps on facebook.  Why does it take me thirty minutes to do something as simple as find my keys and yet, I can cram thirty minutes of web-browsing into the wee hours of the morning somewhat effortlessly?

I’m retarded for not drinking some milk and going back to bed.  I think I’ll go do that now.  Folks, this has been gloriouslly random and strange, but I think I’m gonna go give sleep a second chance.  What the heck was I thinking?

Loyal readers, I am inspired.

 I am worked up, hyped up, and revved up (and ready to go, no less).

The latest project of the inward journey has become a process of deconstruction, and before I start losing folks, let me throw out details on terminology:

1.)  The Inward Journey:  The process of inner healing, of working through past (and present) pains, hurts, and issues, learning to keep short emotional accounts (which means to not let past stuff affect present stuff), and allowing the Holy Spirit to strip away all the labels, titles, and other worthless crap we clothe ourselves with until we are left with (and consequently are forced to own our name.

2.)  The process of deconstruction:  The process of deconstruction is basically my way of reversing the unhealthy pattern of developing false identity patterns.   That unhealthy pattern goes as follows:

____________________________________________________________

 1.)  We are exposed to a lie about ourselves.   Exposure to this lie isn’t restricted to hearing, but includes percieved lies, seen lies, felt lies, ect.  For instance, my father (whom I love dearly and have worked through some of this stuff with) used to love to say:  “Boy, you can’t do nothing right.”  Whether I acted like I believed it or not, this lie attached itself to my perception and as we all know, perception is reality.

2.) We believe the lie.  As we all know from our journey of faith, our beliefs are not so much determined by what we say, but by who we are and (by extension) what we do.  Like I said before, I didn’t necesarilly believe that I couldn’t get anything right but the truth that my dad believed that about me (and maybe other people did to) settled firmly into my consciousness.

3.)  That believed untruth results in reactive living.  Because I believed that my father (and others) believed I couldn’t do anything right, I took a three-fold approach to debunking that particular untruth.  One, I became very performance-oriented, attempting to exceed any expectations of me by leaps and bounds.  Two, anything I percieved that I might fail at, I never took a chance on or gave a second thought.  Three, I became critical of others intent on proving that even if I was incapable of doing anything right, that there were others who couldn’t either, which made it not so bad.

4.)  Our actions are integrated into a negative self-perception or identity.  That’s a fancy way of saying that because we act a certain way, we believe we are a certain way.  Let’s take for instance, the criticism I talked about in number 3.  I am not naturally a critical person, I am usually relatively patient gracious, which is part of my personality type, but because I am reactively critical (because of the believed untruth), then I must be a critical person, musn’t I?  Wrong.

 So, all of that to say that I am inspired to deconstruct myself, to open up the rusted-shut maintenance door to my psyche and take out each cog and sprocket, one by one, and let the Holy Spirit reveal what each piece of me really means and what each piece’s real purpose is.  Hopefully, this process will result in a much more cleaned-up, refined, and intentional Ben.

What do you think?

Well, people, it’s your friendly neighborhood Ben, back for a visit.  I actually had to reactivate my account to post this, so I hope everyone appreciates this.

 This is, actually, my first post of the new year, and strangely enough, I feel like it really hasn’t been all that long since I’ve posted, but hey…I get the message, thanks to Jay and Brooke Sellers.

So, here’s what’s changed in my life since you’ve last been here:

 1.)  I’ve started looking for a house to buy.  Woot.

2.)  I’ve made great strides in my process of “inner healing” (thank you Living Well), or as we call it over at Elevate: “the inward journey.”

3.)  I’ve started getting really serious about learning guitar.  My chord library is now up to about ten chords and I’m really excited.  I lead worship from guitar at the small group bible study I attend a couple of weeks ago and I was happy to find that I “didn’t suck.”  (Thanks to Jessica Snyder for that glowing accolade.)

 4.)  The spiritual kick that I’m on now (and have been for the last few months) is twofold:    

      A.)  That God is seeking to release a devastating revelation of his love that will blow those who encounter it away.

and

     B.)  The aforementioned love of God is breaking the spirit of fatherless, the orphaned posture that has attached itself to this generation.

That’s about it.  Hopefully, I’ll get some more inspiration and toss you guys a few more bones (”you guys” being Brooke Sellers and Kevin Eades, quite possibly the only people on Earth who actually read this blog.)

One of my friends has graciouslly pointed me in the direction of some absolutely amazing amateur recuts of popular movie trailers.  Just check out these amazing revisitations of popular movies:

1.) The original that started it all, the terrifying horror movie: Mary Poppins-  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T5_0AGdFic&feature=related

2.) And who could forget, that tearjerking drama about terminal illness and the hidden joys of single parenting: The Ring- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SgxayErS5As&feature=related

3.)  Brace yourself for the heart-pounding mindgames in the thriller: The Wedding Crashers- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KRbw_J2Kzh4&feature=related

4.)  What would happen if a superhero went insane?  This question answered in the pulse-quickening, first-ever animated thriller to rock the big-screen: The Incredibles- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdW_GxefIU4&feature=related

5.)  And finally, my personal favorite, the heartwarming tale of the blossoming love of a misunderstood psychiatrist and a woman struggling to make it in a man’s world: Silence of the Lambs- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCxF6idjqnk&feature=related

No words.  Just…wow.  From Guitar Hero II, it’s: Dueling Banjos…

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wfdgY5ZYDk

Someone help, I can’t figure out how to embed youtube movies into my wordpress!

Now, in my last blog, I talked about the power of contemplative prayer and how it was the key to the concept of “prayer without ceasing.”  If you’ll remember, I tossed out a challenge and am still waiting on some people to take me up on it and tell me what it was like.  Now, in this blog, I want to dive deeper into actually how perpetual prayer changes things, specifically us.

Recently, I’ve been stuck in the first chapter of Hebrews.  I can’t get past it.  I keep re-reading it and re-reading it because I keep getting stuff out of it.  I’ll break down what I’ve got right now:

 1God, after He spoke long ago to the fathers in the prophets in many portions and in many ways,

 2in these last days has spoken to us in His Son, whom He appointed heir of all things, through whom also He made the world.

 3And He is the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature, and upholds all things by the word of His power When He had made purification of sins, He sat down at the right hand of the Majesty on high,

-Hebrews 1:1-3 (NASB)

The reality is that in days gone by, God chose to reveal himself through prophets, a prophet being one man whom God chose to speak to, and then commanded to take the spoken message to a specific people group.  Now, that might seem like an inefficient method of communication, and it depended a lot on the particular man’s obedience to God, but think about it this way: could people in the Old Testament time period have handled the idea that God was a god of love and that he wanted, not to burden them with a rigid set of rules, but with a a relationship, a partnership of love between creator and creation?  I don’t think that they could have.  In an era where it was a daily struggle just to live and where men were more comfortable killing each other than talking out their problems, who in their right mind would have served such a God?  It would have been seen as “weak.”

No, God revealed himself to the patriarchs and to the people of Israel in a way that could pierce the hardness of their hearts.  He spoke to them through prophets, the few men and women who actually could handle the idea of a God who was divinely interested in the welfare of his people.  I find many times that some people (albiet unconciouslly many times) think of the Old Testament God as different from the New Testament God.  I’m not convinced that this is the truth.  It’s not so much that God was different as the people were different.  This idea brings peace to my constant question: “Why wait so long for Jesus and the plan of salvation?”  The answer that I discern is: “Because there was more to Jesus than just being Messiah.  Jesus came to bring a message that people that came before his time could not receive.  They were no less worthy of salvation (heck, nobody was worth of salvation!), but God did not reveal his Son until his Son could be received.  His timing, after all, is perfect.

Now, when God had revealed his son, he had no more need to speak soley through the prophets, he had revealed himself through his son.  Look at the first part of verse three in particular:

And He (Jesus) is the radiance of His (God the Father’s) glory and the exact representation of His nature…

-Hebrews 1:3a

Think of God as the sun.  The sun is huge!  You could fit 1,300,000 Earths inside the sun’s volume.  It would take almost 12,000 earths to cover the surface of the sun alone.  It’s hard to imagine how huge that is considering how small we are!  The sun, to humans, is a vast object that influences most every single aspect of our day to day life, and yet, we don’t actually ever see it.  Granted, you could look at the sun for about 90 seconds before it would start to burn your retinas, but I wouldn’t reccomend it.  What we see are the rays of the sun, or rather, the sun’s radiance.

Jesus is like that to God.  Jesus is the radiance of the Father.  He’s the fullness of God in doses that we can handle.  Think of it also like this:  If God were a foreign language, then Jesus is the Rosetta Stone.  For those of you not familiar with the Rosetta stone, it was discovered in Egypt in the late 18th century during Napoleon’s conquests there.  The cool thing about the Rosetta Stone was that it featured a royal decree in three different languages: demotic (a more modern form of the written egyptian language), advanced heiroglyphics, and ancient greek.  This was such a ground-breaking discovery, because previouslly, heiroglyphics were nigh-impossible to translate even with the use of demotic writings, which were ambiguous at best anyway.  The Rosetta stone gave scholars the ability to study both demotic and heiroglyphics next to Greek, which they understood.

The beauty of the Rosetta stone is that each section said the same thing, it just said it in a different language.  God operates on a plane that we can’t possibly understand.  We don’t know his language.  Jesus acted as a Rosetta Stone by becoming a man.  He, the perfect representation of the character and nature of God, spoke both the divine language and the language of man.  Who better to be our teacher?  Who better to be the greatest Rabbi of all time?

 All of that to say this:  If Jesus is the translation of who God is, the exact representation of his nature, then does it not make sense that the closer we get to being like Jesus, then the more like God, and thus, more pleasing to Him, we will become?  How do we become more like Jesus?  Well, first we cannot be ignorant of him.  We must read the Word to know what he was like and what he said.  Secondly, we cannot ignore the Helper that he sent us. 

9 However, as it is written:
   ”No eye has seen,
      no ear has heard,
   no mind has conceived
   what God has prepared for those who love him”

 10 but God has revealed it to us by his Spirit.
      The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God.

11For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the man’s spirit within him? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God

-1 Corinthians 2:9-11

The Spirit of God inside of us (in conjunction with scripture) is the best way of learning how to become conformed to the image of Christ, and thus to the nature of God.

This, guys and girls, is the true power of prayer: the power of consolidation.  I am, like you, a compartmentalized creature.  There is a part of me that is totally sold out to the idea of knowing God more, but there is also a part of me that is resistant.  The process  of prayer consolidates all of my compartments, compacting them all into the image, the nature, the character of Jesus.

In prayer, I lose my pretentious arrogance.  In prayer, I lose my crippling insecurities.  In prayer, I trade my regrets for the revelation that I am loved and that I am accepted.  In prayer, I’m forced face-to-face with the realization that there is absolutely nothing that I can do to be any better than I am and forced to have faith that God will shape me into what he desires to be.

That is the power of prayer.  That is why it is so important to be perpetually in prayer, for the consolidation of self to the image of Christ.

-fin

Yeah, yeah, yeah.  It’s been a while since I last blogged, so sue me.

 Since my last couple of blogs haven’t been that spiritually motivated, I figured I’d share something with you from my own personal devotion time over the last couple of weeks.

 Lately, I’ve been reading a lot of “the classics” (ala Brother Lawrence, Saint Augustine, Martin Luther, John Calvin, Madame Guyon, ect) and have been really amazed by the spiritual depth of the things that these great fathers and mothers of modern faith had to say. 

I’ve recently been in a discussion on one particular work in particular, and that is Madame Guyon’s A Short and Easy Method of Prayer.  Madame Guyon (whom you can read all about here) was imprisoned for the ”revolutionary” ideas set forth in this book.  Idea, incidentally, which we hold biblically sound.  This begs the question for me, as a guy who would sincerely like to impact the world for Jesus: what ideas do I have that are so revolutionary enough as to tick people off about me?

I’m not saying that we should pursue division by any means, but people like Madame Guyon spent YEARS in prison, and some of them even gave their very lives to nurture the ideas that we take for granted as the basics of Christianity.  What great revelation does God give to us in our time alone with him that could potentially shake up the whole of Christianity, maybe even make us into pariahs?  Lest I continue with my rant, I’d like to dive right in to what’s been on my mind.

Madame Guyon once said: “Prayer is the key of perfection and of sovereign happiness; it is the efficacious means of getting rid of all vices and of acquiring all virtues; for the way to become perfect is to live in the presence of God. He tells us this Himself: “walk before me, and be thou perfect”  Prayer alone can bring you into His presence, and keep you there continually.”

Although, I think she and I might disagree on exactly what the definition of perfection is in this passage and whether it is possible for a man to live perfect on Earth (apart from Jesus, that is), she hits on something that has always been a fascination of mine, and that is the idea of perpetual prayer.  I’m not talking about walking around all day and babbling like a moron, I’m talking about really being in an attitude of prayer.

***CRAZY CHARISMATIC ALERT!!!  ABOUT TO TALK ABOUT SPEAKING IN TONGUES!!!***

I think she’s talking about praying in the spirit, and I’m not necessarilly talking about “praying in tongues” like we talk about in charismatic circles, because I believe that you can pray in tongues without praying in the spirit and pray in the spirit without praying in tongues.  What I’m talking about isn’t an outward expression so much as an inward condition.  I’m talking about walking around, being totally cognizant about going through your everyday life, but all the while your spirit is in communion with the Holy Spirit.  It’s easy enough to talk about, sure, but hard to actually live there.

I believe the key to this kind of prayer is being in the presence of God.  Now, we’ve all expereinced times in our lives where we KNOW that we were in the presence of God, and hopefully they weren’t all during corporate worship.  Hopefully, some of those times have been by ourselves in what the old-timers called “the prayer closet.”  Here’s a challenge to all of you, including myself:

El Ben’s Incessant Prayer Challenge:  One morning this week, take the time to start your day getting into the presence of God (however best you do that) until you are absolutely aware that God is with, inside, and all around you, and attempt to maintain that awareness throughout the day.  Every time you think about God, take a moment to just recognize that he is there with you.  You don’t actually have to say anything, just maintain your awareness of God.  It might be work, but I’m willing to be you’ll be surprised at the results.  People might look at you funny as you take time to close your eyes in the line at Burger King to re-focus your awareness, but you’ll be fine.

So, what do you think?  Can you take the challenge?

A special thanks to Brooke Sellers who so graciouslly answered my call to create a superhero.  Not to be outdone, I have given my superhero a face as well, using this FUN, if a little time-consuming contraption.  So anyway, below is a splash panel of what the first page of the comic (that my imaginary hero might inhabit) would look like:

My Gifts and Abilities: 

In order to more adequately discover my personal sweet spot, this is some information about myself that I’ve compiled.  A blog friend of mine, Billy Chia got me thinking about this the other day while I was reading his post about finding your sweet spot.  After taking a pretty hefty, honest personal evaluation, this is what I came up with:

I.) Gifts of the Spirit operating in my life as they relate to 1 Corinthians 9 (for the edification of the church):

1.) Word of Knowledge

2.) Word of Wisdom

3.) Discernment of Spirits

II.) Natural abilities I possess (strengths):

1.)    Deductive reasoning (problem solving, coming to reasonable conclusions based on given fact)

2.)    Teaching/ Communication (clearly, concisely, and accurately presenting information (speaking, visually, or writing) in a way that is engaging, enjoyable, and memorable.)

3.)    Hospitality (making a person feel welcomed, enjoyed, and engaged in unfamiliar settings.)

4.)    Networking (connecting with like-minded people and forming a mutually beneficial relationship based on shared interests and convictions.)

5.)    Musicality [derived on a scale of one to ten] (singing: 7, piano: 6, arranging/band direction: 7)

6.)    Leadership (the ability to provide oversight, motivation, and development to a group of individuals)

7.)    Discipleship (helping other Christians to develop spiritually, making right decisions, taking risks, and stepping into their calling.)

8.)    Flexibility (processing spontaneous situations and responding in a favorable manner.  While I’d prefer to have time to prepare or operate in a process with pre-known parameters, I have no problem with thinking on my feet and applying those thoughts into action.)

III.)  Natural abilities I lack (weaknesses):

1.)    Administration:  I have difficulties with some of the more managerial and organizational aspects of day-to-day tasks.

2.)    Multi-tasking:  I tend to have a one-track mind.  Whatever gets on my mind to do, I ruthlessly pursue until completion, sometimes ignoring other things that need my attention.

3.)    Aggressive initiative:  I’m a pretty laid-back person, and I have difficulty taking the aggressive approach when it comes to dealing with people and situations.  I’m more likely to take things at a slower pace.

4.)    Active perception:  (aka: reading between the lines)  I’m not good at catching “intended meanings” in words, drawing conclusions from actions, or working out what a person is thinking.  In short, I need a clear communication of wants or needs from people.  I don’t know, a lot of times, things I “should know without saying.”  I need things communicated in a clear, unambiguous manner.

5.)    Patience:  I’m not naturally patient.  I’m liable to rush things, be anxious about things, and expect things to happen sooner than they should.  I’m not good with waiting, either.  I hate surprises.

6.)    Organization:  I am not an organized person.  I have a general idea of how I want things to happen in my head, but I am not an organized person.  My workspace will be cluttered more often than not, and I will occasionally lose things.

   Personality Type:

The Teacher Idealist (ENFJ)

(emphasis added with highlights)

The Idealists called Teachers are abstract in their thought and speech, cooperative in their style of achieving goals, and directive and extraverted in their interpersonal relations. Learning in the young has to be beckoned forth, teased out from its hiding place, or, as suggested by the word “education,” it has to be “educed.” by an individual with educative capabilities. Such a one is the ENFJ, thus rightly called the educative mentor or Teacher for short. The Teacher is especially capable of educing or calling forth those inner potentials each learner possesses. Even as children the Teachers may attract a gathering of other children ready to follow their lead in play or work. And they lead without seeming to do so.

Teachers expect the very best of those around them, and this expectation, usually expressed as enthusiastic encouragement, motivates action in others and the desire to live up to their expectations. Teachers have the charming characteristic of taking for granted that their expectations will be met, their implicit commands obeyed, never doubting that people will want to do what they suggest. And, more often than not, people do, because this type has extraordinary charisma.

 The Teachers are found in no more than 2 or 3 percent of the population. They like to have things settled and arranged. They prefer to plan both work and social engagements ahead of time and tend to be absolutely reliable in honoring these commitments. At the same time, Teachers are very much at home in complex situations which require the juggling of much data with little pre-planning. An experienced Teacher group leader can dream up, effortlessly, and almost endlessly, activities for groups to engage in, and stimulating roles for members of the group to play. In some Teachers, inspired by the responsiveness of their students or followers, this can amount to genius which other types find hard to emulate. Such ability to preside without planning reminds us somewhat of an Provider, but the latter acts more as a master of ceremonies than as a leader of groups. Providers are natural hosts and hostesses, making sure that each guest is well looked after at social gatherings, or that the right things are expressed on traditional occasions, such as weddings, funerals, graduations, and the like. In much the same way, Teachers value harmonious human relations about all else, can handle people with charm and concern, and are usually popular wherever they are. But Teachers are not so much social as educational leaders, interested primarily in the personal growth and development of others, and less in attending to their social needs.